Welcome to the NSDA Bulletin Board. I'm glad you found us. You will find excellent information and much support here.

First, I have to tell you that I LOVE your name. My niece is also a "Melody" but I can imagine how difficult it must be to have the name "Melody" (which refers to singing, and thus to "voice") and also have a vocal disorder. My niece does not have a vocal disorder.

I've added to your subject line above. The two names for our disorder are: "Spasmodic Dysphonia" (in the vocal world) and "Laryngeal Dystonia" (in the world of neurological disorders). Dysphonia means "something wrong with the voice." Dystonia means "involuntary muscle movements in various parts of the body." Obviously, I am simplifying but these two sciences meet in our SD vocal cords.

If I can be so bold, Spasmodic Dysphonia (Laryngeal Dystonia) is a highly complicated and complex dystonia, due to the location of our disorder (the larynx) and the fact that, as voice patients, we're dealing with specialists in different and distinct fields. Neurology as well as otolaryngology. Also, SD is highly complicated because alot of other vocal disorders mimic it.

We're here to help you, Melody. We've been through it. Write anytime.

--Lynne (AD/SD; Northern California)

When you yawn or laugh does it improve for a period afterwards, or only right during or after that movement?

Has the botulinum done anything postive for you, or nothing at all?

Sorry for all the questions, but I like you draw some extra strength through the experience and knowledge of fellow humans with the condition.

I've been struggling with SD for nearly ten years now and its taken an emotional toll on me. I'm currently getting Botox injection 2-3 times a year (for the past four years). The results have been discouraging. Sometimes I think the negative effects from the shots are worse than the breaking, cracking voice. Still, I elect to get the shots. Though right now I'm experiencing the negative effects of the shots (which I had three weeks ago). My voice is now worse than before. It makes work (I'm a college librarian) very frustration and difficult--to say the least! Working with students and faculty with a voice that "doesn't work" is hard. They look at me strange and strain their ears by craning their heads in hopes of tring to understand what I'm saying as I butcher the words coming out of my mouth. I can't even carry on a conversation with my wife and kids very well!! Sometimes I feel like totally quiting society and becoming a hermit so I'll never have to suffer the embarassment and frustration of living with SD. Or maybe I'll just learn sign language and stop trying to speak at all.

You are not alone. It's nice to have others that understand. Hang in there and good luck.

You're all in kindred company, as you'll learn, the more you post on this BB. Each of us has a story behind our own voice...good times, bad times, a step forward or back. Sure, SD is a real Pain In The A**, but it's the positive moments that make us keep looking toward the future...You'll find helpful hints, medical or otherwise, that can ease the struggle of SD (at least until there's a cure). Go back a few pages and you'll find all kinds of advice and support.