Life After SLAD'R Surgery

It's been a while since I've posted about myself and my new found voice. It's really been amazing and somewhat a constant worry as to just how long my Wonderful Sounding Voice will last. What I mean by amazing, is my life has completely changed since I had the surgery and got my new voice. I have been giving a golden opportunity to help others and educate the public about my experiences with a severe voice disorder. I have made some wonderful friends (fellow SD'R), whom I have never met in person yet. I've become true friends to others, which I never thought it was possible to have this kind of a friend. I guess because before, perhaps I was unable to express myself like I should have or wanted too. I seemed totally unsocialized because of my inability to communate properly. Now I seem to be more outgoing and involved. Although still in constant fear of the spasms returning, my life is so much happier and more pleasant because I've been so blessed in many ways. Don't get me wrong, my life is no bed of roses, I have my ups and downs too, but I feel I at least have things and reasons worth living for.

My surgery was done by Dr. Berke and Dr. Blumin in LA in June of 2001. I got my voice back in September of 2001 and I am still talking up a storm today. I often wonder and am frightened that the spasms might return at some point. After I began to get my voice back I had and still sometimes feel a tightening, aching, and tired feeling in my throat. I believe this is still part of the healing process and my voice continues to improve on a daily basis. I can't help but still have that old dreadful feeling that it Could Happen All Over Again to me. However, I try to push it out of my mind and tell myself I am going to be fine. I tend to be a worrier. I've also noticed that I am still easy to get strangled if I take in too much liquid at one time or I feel I am not in total control of my swallowing habits. Sometimes, I get strangled if I burp wrong and unesseccary mucous or acid reflux comes up in my throat. And I burp, hicup and cough really weird. My family gets tickled at me because of the way I sound when I burp, etc.

I'd like to know if anyone else has experienced these type things after have voice surgery. Not that I am complaining or regret having had the surgery, but just curious if this happens to others and is a normal thing. I have spoke Dr. Berke and Dr. Blumin regarding most of these feeling, etc. They both have said it is hard for them to tell what might be going on, without seeing me in person or viewing a copy of my scope, which I haven't sent to them yet, but need too. However, they don't think it is anything to worry about. They say although spasms have came back in a couple of people back in '90/92' in the begining, when the first surgeries were done, Reoccurance of Spasms is Rare (less than 1%).

I've never heard the spasms in my voice since I began having these feelings, but I have felt a tightening in my throat. My largynoscopy was done back in February of this year by a local speech pathologist who is experienced with SD. He said back then my vocal cords looked real good and I could use some help with the range and long term usage of my voice. Since it had been so long since I was able to speak normal. And in March when I saw him for some speech therapy, we reviewed my largnoscopy and he compared my voice to how it sounded then vs how much it has improved since that time. He saids, "You are doing great and I can't believe how much better your voice sounds now. I've only been to therapy about 4 times. However, I've been doing the exercises he told me to do since then. They really seem to help me, especially when I feel like I've talked too much or I'm tired and stressed. I do a long sounding Eeeeee, starting out in a low tone of voice as well as what "he" calls the "trill or buzz". Which is placing my lips together with my tongue in the roof of my mouth and at just behind the top front teeth. Takeing a deep breath inward and then outward making a buzzing or motor sound with my lips allowing air to flow. This one is quite difficult, especially if I am trying really hard and in front of someone. So, don't be alarmed if you can't do this properly at first, it does take practice. Also, I do an exercise saying the word "Knowl", starting in a low tone getting higher in pitch as I near the letter L. Then repeat by doing it backwords and starting in a high pitch coming to a low pitch with the letter L. These seem to help relieve tension and give me better breath support and the ability to talk longer. Of course, always stopping if my voice plays out on me or I need to take a fresh deep breath. If any of you try this, please remember not to hold the buzz with the lips out to long because it will cause you to get dizzy.

I hope this has not been to confusing or negative sounding. I am just very curious and want to know what others have experienced and too I want to update my condition. To end on a positive note, I am very happy that I had this surgery and would do it again if it meant having a voice. I am complimented all the time as to how good or how much better my voice is sounding as I continue recovering today. Any comments, advise or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I look back on the surgery I don't really have bad memories about the surgery itself, except for being terrified and concerned it may not work properly. I guess you tend to forget things like this after it is all over and done. I truly don't recall having any pain, just a little discomfort and soreness.

Another concern I now have is that my voice really seems to have a good bit of volume and I don't seem to realize this until my husbands tells me I am talking too loud. Isn't that a switch! LOL I just don't want to push my voice into a louder range than I have too, in order to protect my vocal cords, etc. It's strainge and difficult to reconize that I am doing this, but it is true and I have noticed it a lot lately. Have you experienced this? Are you on acid reflux medication? And do you suffer with drainage/allergies?

As you mentioned Jan, swallowing cana be a problem especially if you gulp or just drink too fast. I notice when I am really stressed, my voice does not sound as clear and I can't sing a lick. When I walk Cody in the woods, I try to sing and I can see the violets shrinking! I don't have a lot of range, but I contribute that to my first surgery in 1992--laryngeal framework.

I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to learn of Dr. Berke and his surgery. He truly cares about the outcome of each patient and is working on ways to improve the procedure and help Jeff and John with the problems they encountered after surgery. It has been my experience that there are not many doctors that care to do any follow up work.

No procedure in the world is perfect and no one can give a 100% guarantee that anything is going to work perfectly. SD people are just lucky that Dr. Berke and other researchers have committed their lives to finding a cause and cure.