Observation:

Most people with normal voices speak differently when they are on the phone than when they are speaking to someone in the room with them. When I started listening for this, I was surprised at how prevalent and dramatic this phenomenon is. I don’t know why, but people tend to project differently and also speak more loudly when on the phone. (It is particularly interesting that they usually will deny that they do it; and, even after it is brought to their attention, they will continue both to do it and deny they do it). It is reasonable to extrapolate that SD sufferers are trying, without realizing it, to do this same thing - the “phone voice” thing. For many of us, trying to speak with this different projection and volume is even more difficult than our usual challenging voice.

Prescription:

Obviously, the “dreaded phone” problem is solved if we with SD stop trying to produce the “phone voice” and just use our conversing voice all of the time. Easier said than done, though. (This phenomenon is just so weird.)

My experience:

I learned to stop trying to produce the “phone” voice in the following way. When on the phone, address your comments to a nearby object. As mentioned above, this isn’t as easy as it seems. You can’t just look at the object while you talk on the phone, you must address your remarks to the object. This takes concentration and some imagination. It may help to use a photograph of someone as opposed to a spot on the wall or a typical desk object, and you may want to practice when you are not on the phone (but, practice privately; you don’t want people thinking that in addition to having SD you’ve also started talking to pencils). This may sound very silly, but it worked for me. After a while, I had trained myself not to try to produce the “phone” voice and this problem was solved. Be patient, it may take a little time.

As an additional note for those with weak voices, many devices to amplify outgoing voice on the phone are readily available at office supply type stores. Remember, especially if your voice is breathy, place the microphone at the side of your mouth for best results.

Best of luck to all. I hope this information is useful to someone.

As for phones, I avoid the problem by using a TTY/TDD device when I have to make a phone call to someone other thant eh few people I'll call, or answer a call from. ...That is, when I can't get around getting my support person to make the phone call for me, which, now that I have her, is one of her main jobs. (along with anything else that involves dealing with strange/unfamiliar people.)

I work in an relatively open office area and phone conversations are anything but private. If I'm on the phone, having a conversation with a paper weight, and a coworker walks by, what's the best punch line? "My wife doesn't understand me?".....or maybe "will YOU be my friend?".

Sorry, couldn't resist. As strange as your procedure may seem, there are a lot of tricks out there, one of which is grasping the tongue firmly and pulling. A bit difficult to phonate but voila, no spasms. I suppose I could even try that while talking to the paper weight.

If you are on the phone and addressing your paperweight, no one will notice. It is when you just are practicing that you will be conspicuous. Ida's comments give me an idea. If you hold your phone near your ear while you are talking to your paperweight, no one will know of the special relationship you are developing with inanimate objects. This actually may be even better practice than just talking to objects because it will be closer to the actual "talking on the phone" experience. The good news is that once you've trained yourself not to try to produce the "phone voice," your paperweight won't feel jilted and potentially start stalking you.

When I had so much more trouble on the phone than in person, I told my speech therapist about it and she taught me this "trick" which transitions to training that does not revert! I've seen the phrase "dreaded phone" in so many articles that I wanted to share it.

This trick, Ida's trick... I bet there are lots more.

Illusionists (aka magicians) "trick" the eye - it is interesting to think about that concept in terms of sound and brain function.

There I go again... always thinking out there on the edge (where I must be careful not to fall off and land on my head).

I think my worst experience on the phone is when somone is standing behind me at work waiting/listening or when I'm in car with others and try to use a cell phone. It's the self-consciousness when I'm talking that gets me the mot. Which is why whe someone asks about SD and I try to explain I get nervous and make it worse. It's a little devil this SD.

I hear ya. It was a major blow for me when other people, trying to be nice at work or in social situations, would repeat what I said for another person who didn't understand me. Or going into a loud place and asking my friend to order something for me. Very emasclating and a big blow to the ego. I hate being in loud places now b/c of my quiet voice. And I hate giving control ove to someone else to speak for me. I hada few nightmares when SD was at it's wort of being unable to scream for help or not being eard. Very crazy.

Some of this takes time (to train our partners, friends and kids) but I'm finally getting to the point where I've developed a series of gestures and signals that are starting to work. In addition, like you, I wear a whistle around my neck at times and also have one attached to my keychain. For potential emergencies outside my home, the one on the keychain makes me feel relatively secure at this point.

New gestures which are helping recently are making that cranking gesture (a circular motion, like rolling a window down?) if the friends I'm with can see me. I can't talk over running water, the dishwasher, television, walking down the street, in a car with the radio on or innumerable other situations. Things we all deal with.

I've recently discovered that if we stop blowing out our voices over noise (which I did for years after surgery, because I sounded pretty good, but had to stop recently) and get within eyesight and do the cranking motion, the people we care about will mute the TV and stop making us talk over running water. I couldn't believe how well it worked when I got consistent about doing it. It's taken almost a year with friends/family, but they now know that if they want to carry on a conversation with me, they need to turn whatever is on -"OFF"- so that we can communicate.

It's more difficult to do with children but they respond to a consistent signal quicker than adults do. A whistle or a bang on the wall (whatever works that is consistent) should train them to pay attention. Like Morse-code or American Sign Language. Certain things mean certain things and, as we lose our ability to scream, it's always helpful to have some code which means "emergency." SOS in Morse code and acronym. Trying to vocalize over noise is not good for any of us, once we have SD - whether we're untreated or treated.

This may be too much information but your post was intriguing, regarding screaming for help. It's a big concern when we're voiceless.

Thanks,

--Lynne (AD/SD; Northern California)

Richard Callen